some random self talk

It’s heart-breaking when the person who you thought loved you, didn’t.
But it’s infinitely more heart-breaking, when you realize YOU didn’t love that person.

Throughout the relationship, I had red-flags popping everywhere, I knew he wasn’t the one. I knew I didn’t love him. I knew it was wrong. But I kept it, because of what? Because I could be validated?
I will admit, I was happy for maybe one year, the second year and a half into the relationship, I can say I was happy.
I stopped being happy in the third year, but I didn’t do anything about it. The little voice telling me to break up got louder and louder, but I kept my faith.

Every once in a while, it’s good to lose faith in someone.

I honestly, cannot say for sure that in the future I will do better, that I will not let down my own standards, that I will always listen to the right voice, but here is something I know for sure:
Nobody can protect us from this world. No faith, belief, religion, love, spirituality, or anything can protect us.

We are really alone here, but we are NOT. Because we are all experiencing this aloneness. In that sense, I feel really content, really joyful. Like I’m part of a big family.


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